Yes, you might well ask, what do I mean, WHOOOOOO? Don’t worry, I’ve not turned into a ghost, young people. That would be frightful!

No, I had an experience the other day – not for the first time – that I should like to share with you. I was having a pleasant little nap, as many animals like to do. I have discovered that a good place for a nap is right in the middle of the floor. I don’t know why, but I like it there. I don’t think people trip over me. At least I don’t think they do very much.

But it turns out there is a problem with having forty winks in the middle of the floor, and that is when someone – and I am sorry to say, boys and girls, that in my experience that someone is invariably a human someone – comes along with a vacuum cleaner and starts pushing it against one and waking one up. As if the noise on its own weren’t enough, and it were important to nudge a rabbit to make her notice that there is a big plastic tube next to her making a ghastly racket.

My suggestion is that you could write to the Prime Minister and ask him to abolish vacuum cleaners until they can be quieter and entirely non-nudgy. Perhaps they could be replaced with soft brushes? Or with fresh vegetables? Then I could suck on a sprout while I lay there. That would be most acceptable.

If you need help drafting your letters, please do let me know, and I can give you some advice. Please believe me when I say that I do very much value your contribution to the plight of napping rabbits.

With all my love,

Rosamunde